Combs Hollow Fight Club

So, this morning was spent saving a deer from the Jaws of Death. "The Jaws of Death?" you may ask. That would be my precious baby, Campbell.

I'm sleeping like a rock this morning when I hear John screaming, "Deb! Get dressed and get down here!" Now, a million things can go through one's mind when hearing their husband yelling in such a state of uproar. I, however, knew instantly (even pre-Diet Dew) that the yelling must have something to do with Campbell.

I run down the stairs to find John in the kitchen with two heavily panting dogs. Clearly something had taken place. John proceeds to tell me that he had let the dogs out for their morning tinkle and he went about getting dressed. When he opened the door to call them to come in, he heard ferocious barking and some kind of weird growling coming from the front field. He immediately thought that the dogs were embroiled in a fight with a bear.

John ran to the front of the property, brick in hand (I'm not exactly sure where he found a brick while running to the front yard, but he claims he was wielding a brick) up towards the nursery. What unfolded in front of him was a scene straight out of Ultimate Fight Championship Mixed Martial Arts Cage Match. Campbell had run through the electric fence and chased a deer into the nursery. She had the big ass doe in a figure four headlock. Legs are kicking, paws and hooves are flying, and Barrett is standing off to the side barking at the spectacle.

John can't get near the action to try to pull the two apart, so he does the next best thing and throws the brick at the dog and deer. The deer is on it's back making horrendous screeching noises and is clearly trying to tap out. Campbell refuses to let up on the smack down and doesn't listen as John tries to call her off. Naturally, the more she ignores him, the more he thinks screaming obscenities at her is going to work. At 5:30 am, my husband is standing up near Combs Hollow Rd., screaming, "GET! THE FUCK! OVER HERE!"

Finally, the deer wriggles out of Cami's clutches and jumps the fence to safety. John returns to the house with Campbell and Barrett (still barking) in tow. After a thorough exam, it seems that all ears, extremities and tail are still attached. No blood, and only a little bit of limping. Campbell pranced around the house, clearly proud of her conquest. Barrett had to take a Valium and lay down.

This was our morning.

I don't want to know what the deer looked like.