A Marcia Brady Moment

"Oh my nose!" This time, is was not me being rushed to the hospital, but rather my better half. John was playing a game in his men's softball league, and while fielding a hot smash, the ball took a bad hop directly into his shnoze. He came home bloody and disfigured, so I thought a trip to the hospital was in order. If only we had known that the hospital visit would be the most painful part of the day...

After checking in with the triage nurse, were told to have a seat in "registration," which is where John would be logged into the Emergency system and a chart created for him. So we shuffle over to the registration desk. Mind you, John is holding a bloody towel up to his face, and I've got him by the arm guiding him into a chair. The first question the brainiac in registration asks is, "Who is the patient?" *Mental head slap* Then it's on to entering John into their system. Poor John is sitting in the chair with blood running all over and the chick at the desk is typing War and Peace. Apparently we've got some kind of computer glitch occurring. And, Stupid seems to think the harder she bangs on the keyboard the more likely it is that her system will take the information she has continuously tried to enter. 20 minutes and a lot of blood loss later, I flip out. It was a classic snap. I start screaming at Stupid who is still banging away on the keyboard and she basically tells me there is nothing that can be done for John because the system will not let her enter his information into it. At which point I turn to John and say, "Thank God you're not dying." I mean, WTF?

Finally, the triage nurse responds to the ruckus I'm causing and takes John into the Emergency treatment area. Where we then wait for over an hour before anyone even looks at him. Bless his heart. Poor John is in a lot of pain and no one could give a damn. He is finally taken to X ray, and I'm certain at this point that a doctor will be in shortly to examine John's nose and maybe give him something for the pain. Not. A girl walks in and introduces herself as "Wendy, the Physician's Assistant." Wendy pokes at John's nose a bit and leaves to look at his films. A few minutes later, some chick (who I swear I just saw emptying the trash cans) comes in and says John's films are negative and we're all set to go.

So basically, we've got a registration system that could potentially cause death, no doctor to be found , and a janitor who gives us the "all clear."

Ah, health care in America. WTF?!!!