So I lied....

In a previous entry, All I Wanted Were Window Boxes, I expressed my dismay in the balcony-like structures that had been affixed on the front of my house. I badly wanted them removed, as they were much larger than I expected. I lamented the fact that it wasn't possible: "these babies aren't moving as they are bolted into the stone."

So one would think. One would think that 9 inch iron bolts driven into stone would be enough to hold up a few pieces of wood and some pansies/geraniums/impatiens with maybe a little green foliage added in for depth. One would think. However, one was wrong. I now have a large balcony (a.k.a. "window box") hanging by a thread off the front of my house. In an effort to save the balcony from falling (and tearing down half of the house), John stuck some 2x4's into the ground and under the bottom of the box, kind of "propping it up." You know, it's the kind of thing you might see on an episode of "Cops" when one toothless, drunken idiot calls the police on another toothless drunken idiot and the kindly police officers roll into their trailer park to settle the fracas.

Yes, it's true. I'm living like white trash. *sigh*

On The Brighter Side....

...my eyebrows have started to come back in. I wasn't able to get to my regular salon for a little nip/tuck prior to my visit with Christine (more on that later) so I went to a place near my office. After explaining to the chick who was weilding the tweezers, "I really just need a little cleaning up," she proceeded to wax my eyebrows clear off. WTF? I was horrified. She then filed off my nails and glopped on some polish. I swear, it looked like a 3-year-old did my manicure. Note to self: never go back.

So I'm driving home from work last night, caught in some serious bumper-to-bumper traffic. Not that that is unusual, but it gave me the opportunity to read the plate of the guy ahead of me (after I almost re-ended him when he cut me off). I mean, where the hell was he going? There's nothing but tail lights in front of us, but he just had to get in front of me. No stopping at the sign for this guy...no way...he'll just pull right out in front of me thank you very much....I digress....after Mr. Asshole with the cancer stick in his mouth cuts me off, I see that he has a NJ Firefighter license plate. OK, maybe he's used to rushing. You know the saying, "Where's the fire?" I decided to give the guy a break.

However. And that's a big HOWEVER. All bets were off when Mr. NJ Firefighter flicks his lit cigarette out the window. Is he the only chump on Earth who is not aware that all of California is on fire? Isn't he the one person who should know better? I absolutley lost my mind. Isn't this the guy who is supposed to be Smokey's sidekick in the "Don't Start Forest Fires" commercials? What a dickhead.

Speeking of CA, my account manager, Steve, had to evacuate his house the other day as the fire was getting uncomfortably close. Wacky shit, man. Thankfully he and his family are back home after holing up at a WalMart. It's just frightening and hopefully it will end without any more loss of life or property. It doesn't look good, though.

Back to my commute home. After stewing in the car for about 45 minutes over Mr. I Choose To Flick, I'm sitting at a light waiting my turn to bolt. A young girl is waiting to make a left onto the street that I'm stopped on. As she pulls out, she nearly collides with a car making a left in front of her. In a panic, she puts her car in reverse and proceeds to back into the guy behind her. This girl was a one car wrecking machine. It was classic. And, she did this all without dropping the cell phone from her ear. Nice.

Gretchen and I did the American Cancer Society's Making Strides for Breast Cancer Walk this past Sunday. We had a lot of fun and it was for a great cause, which always makes a person feel good. I brought Barrett with me (as she's the one dog in my pack who actually has legs that work) and hoped for the best. Ba Ba is not too great in crowds, and considering there were thousands of people there, this was a real test for her. I'm happy to say that she did really well. She got a little spooked when people walked into her, or when a kid road one of those stupid razor scooters by her, but all in all, it was a successful outing for the Black Girl. She even sported a pretty pink scarf for the event:


So, I mentioned Christine earlier. She is one of my oldest and dearest friends. She and I had taken a little "hiatus" from our relationship (a 12 year hiatus)but are now back together and better than ever. She and her husband, Roger, came up to NJ from Florida and these are a couple of shots from our visit:

We're too cute. ;)

WTF? Just Get On The Bus

Okay, People. What's up with kids not getting on the bus and holding up traffic? I have to drive through a residential neighborhood to get to my office and, natch, get caught behind a school bus. Some big ass drama unfolds and this kid is holding onto mama's leg with all his might in an effort to not climb aboard his bus. Minutes are ticking away and so is my patience. It's all I can do to not start screaming out my window at this little mamby-pamby, snot-nosed, whiny-ass little motherfucker to get on the bus and stop holding up traffic. If I were that kid's mother, I'd kick the shit out of him on a daily basis until he got on the god damn bus without incident. I swear, we're raising a bunch of pansy-assed, weak-kneed, bleeding heart little rug rats who will be the ruin of this country. Get on the fucking bus like a man you little asswipe.

Oh, and when I walked the dogs this morning, I saw my breath in the air. Is it too much to ask for the chill to stay away until the end of September? I mean, really? Fuck me. I need to up my anti-depressants.

So glad to be back from vacation. Fuckers.